Many youngsters in this generation have an idea that marriage will be the ultimate solution to their family conflicts that they experience. But is this the reality? Is this the way out of problems?
Well, one can argue this is not the correct approach to dealing with family matters. The solution to all our problems can only be solved by the One, The Almighty.
Getting married and leaving unresolved issues with family members can often have a detrimental effect on the psychology of the individual. Their experience of conflict can seep into the quality of their marriage. The frustration will slowly show in the relationship.
The importance of keeping kinship in Islam is emphasized. It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that a man said:
O Messenger of Allah, I have relatives with whom I try to keep in touch, but they cut me off. I treat them well, but they abuse me. I am patient and kind towards them, but they insult me. He said: “If you are as you say, then it is as if you are putting hot ashes in their mouths. Allah will continue to support you as long as you continue to do that.” Narrated by Muslim (2558).
Many of us think about solutions to our problems. Many of us are hurriedly getting married to escape from the family. We go to worldly luxuries to suppress our thoughts and misery, looking for comfort in food, clothes, money. However, one should question themselves whether the problems would really go away. We need to remind ourselves, that the only comfort and peace we can find is from Allah azza wa jal (The Mighty and the Majestic).
Du'a is the most powerful source of escapism to our problems. Praise Him, and ask Him, to guide you and your family. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“There is no obedience if it involves disobedience towards the Creator. Obedience is only with regard to that which is right and proper.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (6380) and Muslim 91840).
Once you have rekindled the love between the family members, you may enter marriage with confidence and positivity.
May Allah, the Almighty show us the way to the right solutions and relieve us from our problems. Ameen